Am I Stubborn and Close Minded?

Dear Friends,

It's helpful to think about if there is an area of our lives in which we are being overly stubborn.

Being stubborn stands in the way of personal growth. If we are not open to new ways of looking at things, how will we break free from our habitual patterns? We will keep making the same mistakes, while insisting we are right.

We each have our mindsets and habitual behaviors, and we will stay stuck in them unless we are willing to consider alternatives. In addition, people who are stubborn, only have access to their limited perspective and intelligence. But those who are willing to consider the viewpoints of others, the perspective and intelligence available to them is multiplied many times.

There is though a place for stubbornness. For example, we should be stubborn when sticking to our principles and living our values. When appropriate, Ethics of the Fathers (5:20) teaches us to “Be bold as a leopard.”

Here are three ways to decrease unhealthy stubbornness:

(1) Work on developing humility; realize you have been wrong in the past and you will likely make mistakes in the future. With true humility, a person is able to admit when they were wrong and change course.

(2) When talking to others, instead of trying to get them to agree with you, really listen and consider what they are saying. You will learn a lot more that way. As has been said, “If your lips are moving, you’re not learning anything new.”

(3) Ask people for feedback and advice, and give serious consideration to what they say. Instead of focusing on why they are wrong, see if there is a nugget of wisdom you can benefit from.

When we are open-minded and interested in learning new ideas and ways of enhancing our lives, we have laid a solid foundation for growth.

Ask, “Which area of my life am I stubborn about? Perhaps there is a better way of dealing with this issue. Who can I speak to for guidance?”

Have a great week,

Yaakov

Clarity: 8 Ways to Get More of It

Dear Friends,

Many times we struggle with how to deal with the challenges in our lives and wonder how we can get more clarity.

Clarity: 8 Ways to Get More of It

Have a great week,

Yaakov

How to Overcome Your Challenges: 10 Ways

Dear Friends,

We all have challenges. The question is do we become despondent over them or make an action plan to overcome them?

How to Overcome Your Challenges: 10 Ways

Have a great week,

Yaakov

Kislev: Gratitude

Dear Friends,

This post is about the Jewish month of Kislev as it relates to The Chazak Plan: A 12 Month Journey to Spiritual Strength.

Rosh Chodesh Kislev begins Wednesday night, the 7th of November and lasts for two days.

During this month we celebrate the festival of Chanukah, which commemorates the miracle of the oil, the victory of the Maccabees over the Greeks and the rededication of the Second Temple. A key message of the festival is expressing gratitude to God for the miracles He performs for us.

Each day, either at the beginning of the day or before going to sleep, spend time feeling grateful for the blessings your Creator gave you. Thank Him for His many gifts, for the bright side/silver lining of your difficulties, and for signs of His help amidst your challenges. Consider inputting this daily practice of expressing gratitude into your checklist.

In addition, express your appreciation to others. You can do this in person, on the phone, via a quick email or text, or with a written note.

The readings for this month focus on Chanukah and related themes. For additional discussion on gratitude, see the first tool in, “6 Tools to Enhance Your Mood.”

Questions for the month:

“What is something I am very grateful to God for? What can I say to Him to express my appreciation?”

“Who is someone who has helped me? How can I express my appreciation?”

Take care and may God grant us success in the coming month,

Yaakov