A fascinating passage in the Talmud sheds light on who Job was and why he suffered so much. The Talmud (Sotah 11a) recounts how when the Jews were in Egypt, before they were enslaved, Pharaoh took counsel with his wise men; his advisors were Balaam, Job and Jethro. Pharaoh asked them how to deal with the increasing Jewish population. Balaam advised Pharaoh to persecute them, Job was silent, and Jethro fled after he saw Pharaoh’s malevolent intent.
Each one received their due. Balaam was later killed by the sword and lost his share in the World to Come, the otherwise righteous Job suffered severely before God healed him, and Jethro merited having his descendants serve in the Supreme Jewish Court. In addition, Jethro merited Moses as his son-in-law, the greatest prophet who ever lived.
We all experience defining moments, times we face moral dilemmas. The decisions we make shape the course of our lives. Through our choices, we will reap what we sow, for good or vice versa.
Moral dilemmas are as unique as we are. Each one is custom made by God to give us the opportunity to define what we want our lives to be about and to earn the bliss of Heaven. They are key reasons God put us in this world.
Examples of dilemmas: A very attractive person flirts with you, and you know the relationship will only spell trouble. Your friends pressure you to do something or go somewhere which you know is not a good idea. You come across an opportunity to engage in shady dealings, take what does not belong to you, or withhold monies due to others. You discover that your partner or boss is engaged in underhanded behavior from which you stand to gain if you go along with it. Your lawyer or accountant advises you to do something which you know is not doing, “…What is straight and what is good in the eyes of God...(Deuteronomy 6:18).”
For many of these life defining moments, we have three options:
1. Actively pursue the sinful choice, i.e., acting like Balaam.
2. Be passive, exhibiting silent acquiescence to something we know is wrong, i.e., acting like Job.
3. Stand up for our values, and if we think we will be unable to sway others, then to flee from sin like one running from a fire, i.e., acting like Jethro.
You will face defining moments; it is only a question of when. When you do, you will choose one of the above three courses of action. Whatever choice you make, there will be consequences.
Like Balaam, those who choose evil will pay a price eventually and that price is never worthwhile. Like Job, those who choose to look the other way will be held accountable for their inaction. While those who stand up for their values, become Jethros, and will reap tremendous and eternal reward.
The consequences of our actions are measure for measure. Balaam, who sought harm and destruction for the Jewish people, experienced that himself. Job, who was silent, experienced such difficulties that he could no longer maintain his silence and cried out in pain. Jethro, who stood up for what he believed in and fled from evil, had descendants who did the same.
One of the greatest rewards people can receive in this world is seeing their children and grandchildren thriving and following in the proper path. That was Jethro’s reward; he saw his descendants reach the pinnacle of greatness. If we also want to receive that reward, then, like Jethro, we also need to be role models of greatness.
Our children and grandchildren watch how we act and model what they observe. In essence, as we live our lives, we are “writing” an autobiography, one that our children and grandchildren will “read”. Write one they can be proud of and from which they will draw inspiration throughout their lives.
Choosing to emulate Jethro is not easy, but it is simple. It begins with one word: No. “No! I will not do that,” “No! I will not go along with that.” To do this, we need to be bold and resolute, reminding ourselves that when we are doing the right thing, it does not matter what other people think of us.
Often, the hardest part is evaluating each situation and deciding whether or not we will live our values. Once we decide that we will always live our values, doing so in every situation becomes automatic. (When you are not sure what to do, or your biases are likely clouding your judgment, speak to your rabbi or spiritual mentor for guidance.)
Greatness is found not only in rejecting evil, but also in embracing good. Jethro not only left his respected position as an idolatrous priest, he embraced Judaism, joining Moses and the Jews in the desert.
Become great, become a Jethro, by committing to yourself, that starting today, “I will act in keeping with my Torah values.” Make this nonnegotiable. Do this even when it’s difficult, even when it involves personal sacrifice. Then, you will live a life of meaning, one that will be an eternal source of pride for you, your family and your Creator.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Elul: Repentance
Dear Friends,
This is a post about the Jewish month of Elul, as it relates to The Chazak Plan: A 12 Month Journey to Spiritual Strength.
Rosh Chodesh Elul begins this Monday night, the 25th of August, and lasts for two days.
Elul is the time of year to take stock of our lives and prepare for the High Holidays. Most of us have at least one area with which we struggle; perhaps it is being ethical in business, living a moral life, being charitable and kind, or refraining from hurting others. Correcting our key flaw(s) is a main component of our life’s mission and why God put us in this world.
Pick one area on which to focus and break it down into manageable behavioral changes you will make on a daily or weekly basis. If possible, speak to your rabbi or spiritual mentor for guidance. The focus on repentance continues into next month until after Yom Kippur.
As the High Holidays involve reciting many prayers, you might want to take a look at the article, Unlocking the Hidden Power of Prayer. (This article and the topic of prayer is the focus of the month of Cheshvan.)
Readings for the month:
You: As God Intended
Who Are You? A Balaam, a Job or a Jethro?
How to Remove Your Number One Spiritual Stumbling Block
Unmasking 5 Misconceptions about Repentance
Asking Forgiveness: A Crash Course
This is a post about the Jewish month of Elul, as it relates to The Chazak Plan: A 12 Month Journey to Spiritual Strength.
Rosh Chodesh Elul begins this Monday night, the 25th of August, and lasts for two days.
Elul is the time of year to take stock of our lives and prepare for the High Holidays. Most of us have at least one area with which we struggle; perhaps it is being ethical in business, living a moral life, being charitable and kind, or refraining from hurting others. Correcting our key flaw(s) is a main component of our life’s mission and why God put us in this world.
Pick one area on which to focus and break it down into manageable behavioral changes you will make on a daily or weekly basis. If possible, speak to your rabbi or spiritual mentor for guidance. The focus on repentance continues into next month until after Yom Kippur.
As the High Holidays involve reciting many prayers, you might want to take a look at the article, Unlocking the Hidden Power of Prayer. (This article and the topic of prayer is the focus of the month of Cheshvan.)
Readings for the month:
You: As God Intended
Who Are You? A Balaam, a Job or a Jethro?
How to Remove Your Number One Spiritual Stumbling Block
Unmasking 5 Misconceptions about Repentance
Asking Forgiveness: A Crash Course
Take care, and may God grant us success in the coming month and bring peace to the land of Israel,
Yaakov
Yaakov
Thursday, August 14, 2014
On Arutz-7: What Does God Want From Me?
Dear Friends,
Have you ever asked yourself, “What does God want from me? Why did He create me?”
In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Eikev, Moses addresses this very question and asks the Jews, “And now, Israel, What does Hashem, your God, request of you? (Deuteronomy 10:12)”
His answer, discussed in the article below, may surprise you.
What Does God Want from Me?
This week, Arutz-7 published a digest version of this article, available here.
Have a Shabbat Shalom,
Yaakov
Have you ever asked yourself, “What does God want from me? Why did He create me?”
In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Eikev, Moses addresses this very question and asks the Jews, “And now, Israel, What does Hashem, your God, request of you? (Deuteronomy 10:12)”
His answer, discussed in the article below, may surprise you.
What Does God Want from Me?
This week, Arutz-7 published a digest version of this article, available here.
Have a Shabbat Shalom,
Yaakov
PS The above article is an updated and retitled version of “Is God Part of Your Judaism?”
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Chazak! Chazak! Venischazaik!
Dear Friends,
With our brothers and sisters in Israel living under a barrage of rockets, with mounting IDF casualties and a steep rise in anti-Semitic acts and rallies around the world, this is clearly a challenging and traumatic time for our people.
During times like these, we need to strengthen our faith: Our faith in God and our faith in ourselves, that with His help we will overcome.
It is inspiring that during this time period, over 1,000 Jews made Aliya to Israel. For a video of the arrival of 228 olim from America, click here.
Below, I have compiled a list of articles from this blog which may help you during this time, or during any time of worry and anxiety. They have helped me.
With our brothers and sisters in Israel living under a barrage of rockets, with mounting IDF casualties and a steep rise in anti-Semitic acts and rallies around the world, this is clearly a challenging and traumatic time for our people.
During times like these, we need to strengthen our faith: Our faith in God and our faith in ourselves, that with His help we will overcome.
It is inspiring that during this time period, over 1,000 Jews made Aliya to Israel. For a video of the arrival of 228 olim from America, click here.
Below, I have compiled a list of articles from this blog which may help you during this time, or during any time of worry and anxiety. They have helped me.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Who Caused This Crisis?
Our instinctive response to crisis or tragedy is to look for people to blame (including sometimes ourselves) and to think they are the sole cause of our difficulties. We say to each other, “It’s all their fault. If only they would have acted differently.” But this is a mistake.
The underlying cause behind everything is God. Things happen because God made them happen; all other causes are superficial. At least three prophets taught us this principle:
Isaiah: (Isaiah 42:24), “Who gave over Jacob to the oppressor and Israel to looters? Was it not God…?”
Jeremiah: (Lamentations 3:37), “Whose decree was ever fulfilled, if the Lord did not will it?”
Amos: (Amos 3:6), “…Can there be misfortune in a city, if God had not brought it?”
This means that if you made an innocent mistake, which God forbid led to a tragedy, do not blame yourself; it was ultimately God who caused your mistake to turn into a tragedy. For how to make peace with yourself, see, “Discover Your Inner Peace.”
There are two reasons why people often have a hard time accepting that everything ultimately comes from God, even the evil acts of others. First, they think this lets people off the hook. Nothing could be further from the truth. God holds people accountable for their actions (and so should we). Nevertheless, God uses them as His tool or sword to bring about His desired result. As King David said to God (Psalms 17:13), “…Rescue my soul from the wicked one, who is Your sword.”
When wicked people’s evil acts are needed, they are successful, when not needed, they are not. This explains the countless times people have plotted to commit a crime and failed. Whether they are successful or not, because wicked people have chosen to pursue evil, they will be severely punished, either in this world, in the next or both. We do God’s work when we pursue and punish evil doers. That is what King David did and what we must continue to do.
The second reason people have difficulty with this concept is they do not understand why a loving God would cause pain. But do loving parents never cause their children pain? Sometimes, painful actions are necessary for a child’s growth or wellbeing.
God is our Father in Heaven. The whole reason He created us and put us in this world is so that we can earn the bliss of the next world through the choices we make. He is willing to do whatever is necessary to help us make the most of the opportunities of this world. The eternal benefits we receive from our difficulties far outweigh any temporary pain.
There are general principles as to how suffering elevates us and helps us earn eternal bliss (see, “5 Reasons for Suffering”). For example, suffering can remind us to increase our repentance, prayer, and charity. A key High Holiday prayer states that these three things can annul a harsh decree. Use suffering as a catalyst to repent for misdeeds, pray with greater fervor and give charity more generously.
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught (Likutey Moharan 7:1), “…When faith will spread throughout the world, then the Messiah will come.” The first step to spreading faith is strengthening our own and a crisis is an opportunity to do so. (Our faith is tested when times are rough and we are hurting.) Perhaps this is one reason why the period before the Messiah comes will be a tumultuous one (Tractate Sanhedrin 98b). When we use a crisis to strengthen our faith in God and our commitment to follow His Torah as best we can, we hasten the redemption.
Understanding why specific difficulties are needed or exactly how they benefit us is beyond our ability. Because God is infinitely wise and we are not, there will be times we do not understand His ways. In fact, we never fully understand His ways. Sometimes, we get a glimpse of why events occur, other times, we do not.
Rav Chaim Volozhin taught that during times of danger, a person should focus on the phrase from Deuteronomy (4:35), “…Ein od milvado,” “…There is nothing beside Him (God).” This verse means that there is no force in the universe other than God. Nothing exists or has power outside of His will. God is the ultimate cause behind everything. By focusing on this truth, we bring special merit and protection to ourselves. We realize that no matter how strong the forces of evil may appear, they are nothing before God; in an instant He can render them powerless.
The next time you read about a crisis, say, “This is from God for our eternal benefit.” Then ask, “What can I do to help those affected? How can I use this crisis to change for the better?” (See, “How to Respond Effectively to a Crisis or Tragedy.”)
This mindset toward adversity enables us to read the news with compassion, and at times grief over a loss, but no longer worry. We no longer feel compelled to read the news obsessively, anxiously following every development. We realize God is in complete control and will not allow anything to happen to us that is not for our ultimate good. We know He will only give us challenges we can handle and that in the end, with His help, we will triumph.
When faced with a crisis, just do your best, pray, and look for ways to grow; leave the rest to God. When you do that, you will reach the level described by King David, (Psalms 112:7), “Of evil news – he is not afraid. His heart is steadfast, trusting in God.”
Trusting in God means believing He is guiding your life and doing what is best for you, even though you do not understand how. Do not be passive. Instead, make spiritual and material efforts to overcome your challenges. While making those efforts, realize God is by your side, encouraging and strengthening you, every step of the way.
Please share this article with family and friends by using the icons below.
Please subscribe to this blog by typing your email address in the box on the upper right and clicking on the "Subscribe" tab.
The underlying cause behind everything is God. Things happen because God made them happen; all other causes are superficial. At least three prophets taught us this principle:
Isaiah: (Isaiah 42:24), “Who gave over Jacob to the oppressor and Israel to looters? Was it not God…?”
Jeremiah: (Lamentations 3:37), “Whose decree was ever fulfilled, if the Lord did not will it?”
Amos: (Amos 3:6), “…Can there be misfortune in a city, if God had not brought it?”
This means that if you made an innocent mistake, which God forbid led to a tragedy, do not blame yourself; it was ultimately God who caused your mistake to turn into a tragedy. For how to make peace with yourself, see, “Discover Your Inner Peace.”
There are two reasons why people often have a hard time accepting that everything ultimately comes from God, even the evil acts of others. First, they think this lets people off the hook. Nothing could be further from the truth. God holds people accountable for their actions (and so should we). Nevertheless, God uses them as His tool or sword to bring about His desired result. As King David said to God (Psalms 17:13), “…Rescue my soul from the wicked one, who is Your sword.”
When wicked people’s evil acts are needed, they are successful, when not needed, they are not. This explains the countless times people have plotted to commit a crime and failed. Whether they are successful or not, because wicked people have chosen to pursue evil, they will be severely punished, either in this world, in the next or both. We do God’s work when we pursue and punish evil doers. That is what King David did and what we must continue to do.
The second reason people have difficulty with this concept is they do not understand why a loving God would cause pain. But do loving parents never cause their children pain? Sometimes, painful actions are necessary for a child’s growth or wellbeing.
God is our Father in Heaven. The whole reason He created us and put us in this world is so that we can earn the bliss of the next world through the choices we make. He is willing to do whatever is necessary to help us make the most of the opportunities of this world. The eternal benefits we receive from our difficulties far outweigh any temporary pain.
There are general principles as to how suffering elevates us and helps us earn eternal bliss (see, “5 Reasons for Suffering”). For example, suffering can remind us to increase our repentance, prayer, and charity. A key High Holiday prayer states that these three things can annul a harsh decree. Use suffering as a catalyst to repent for misdeeds, pray with greater fervor and give charity more generously.
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught (Likutey Moharan 7:1), “…When faith will spread throughout the world, then the Messiah will come.” The first step to spreading faith is strengthening our own and a crisis is an opportunity to do so. (Our faith is tested when times are rough and we are hurting.) Perhaps this is one reason why the period before the Messiah comes will be a tumultuous one (Tractate Sanhedrin 98b). When we use a crisis to strengthen our faith in God and our commitment to follow His Torah as best we can, we hasten the redemption.
Understanding why specific difficulties are needed or exactly how they benefit us is beyond our ability. Because God is infinitely wise and we are not, there will be times we do not understand His ways. In fact, we never fully understand His ways. Sometimes, we get a glimpse of why events occur, other times, we do not.
Rav Chaim Volozhin taught that during times of danger, a person should focus on the phrase from Deuteronomy (4:35), “…Ein od milvado,” “…There is nothing beside Him (God).” This verse means that there is no force in the universe other than God. Nothing exists or has power outside of His will. God is the ultimate cause behind everything. By focusing on this truth, we bring special merit and protection to ourselves. We realize that no matter how strong the forces of evil may appear, they are nothing before God; in an instant He can render them powerless.
The next time you read about a crisis, say, “This is from God for our eternal benefit.” Then ask, “What can I do to help those affected? How can I use this crisis to change for the better?” (See, “How to Respond Effectively to a Crisis or Tragedy.”)
This mindset toward adversity enables us to read the news with compassion, and at times grief over a loss, but no longer worry. We no longer feel compelled to read the news obsessively, anxiously following every development. We realize God is in complete control and will not allow anything to happen to us that is not for our ultimate good. We know He will only give us challenges we can handle and that in the end, with His help, we will triumph.
When faced with a crisis, just do your best, pray, and look for ways to grow; leave the rest to God. When you do that, you will reach the level described by King David, (Psalms 112:7), “Of evil news – he is not afraid. His heart is steadfast, trusting in God.”
Trusting in God means believing He is guiding your life and doing what is best for you, even though you do not understand how. Do not be passive. Instead, make spiritual and material efforts to overcome your challenges. While making those efforts, realize God is by your side, encouraging and strengthening you, every step of the way.
Please share this article with family and friends by using the icons below.
Please subscribe to this blog by typing your email address in the box on the upper right and clicking on the "Subscribe" tab.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Av: Enhancing Our Relationships
Dear Friends,
This is a post about the Jewish month of Av, as it relates to The Chazak Plan: A 12 Month Journey to Spiritual Strength.
Rosh Chodesh Av begins this Sunday night, the 27th of July, and lasts for one day. Rosh Chodesh marks the beginning of the period known as the "Nine Days."
On the ninth of this month – Tisha B’Av – we fast to commemorate the destruction of the First and Second Temples. We remember a time when God “hid His face” from the Jewish people and we felt distant from Him. During this month, reestablish and deepen your relationship with God through the practice of Hitbodedut – talking informally to Him in your native language.
Speak to God for at least five to fifteen minutes, unburdening yourself to Him. Try this practice at least once, although preferably for a week or month and see how it can help you feel closer to God and to fortifying yourself with His comfort and support.
Continue last month’s focus on forgiveness and letting go of bitterness from the past. What is a step you can take to reduce or resolve an interpersonal conflict in your life? How can you bring more peace and acceptance to your relationships? How can you keep a disagreement from deteriorating into personal animosity?
We are a small nation surrounded by enemies bent on our destruction, as we see clearly with the fighting going on in Gaza. To defeat the hatred against our people, we need to defeat the hatred within our people. Between now and Tisha B’Av, go out of your way to be forgiving and overlook the faults of others. Go out of your way to be kind and loving to others.
This is a post about the Jewish month of Av, as it relates to The Chazak Plan: A 12 Month Journey to Spiritual Strength.
Rosh Chodesh Av begins this Sunday night, the 27th of July, and lasts for one day. Rosh Chodesh marks the beginning of the period known as the "Nine Days."
On the ninth of this month – Tisha B’Av – we fast to commemorate the destruction of the First and Second Temples. We remember a time when God “hid His face” from the Jewish people and we felt distant from Him. During this month, reestablish and deepen your relationship with God through the practice of Hitbodedut – talking informally to Him in your native language.
Speak to God for at least five to fifteen minutes, unburdening yourself to Him. Try this practice at least once, although preferably for a week or month and see how it can help you feel closer to God and to fortifying yourself with His comfort and support.
Continue last month’s focus on forgiveness and letting go of bitterness from the past. What is a step you can take to reduce or resolve an interpersonal conflict in your life? How can you bring more peace and acceptance to your relationships? How can you keep a disagreement from deteriorating into personal animosity?
We are a small nation surrounded by enemies bent on our destruction, as we see clearly with the fighting going on in Gaza. To defeat the hatred against our people, we need to defeat the hatred within our people. Between now and Tisha B’Av, go out of your way to be forgiving and overlook the faults of others. Go out of your way to be kind and loving to others.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
What Happens to Our Seemingly Unanswered Prayers?
We pray because we believe that prayer works, that God hears our prayers and will help us. Yet, what are we to believe when we pray for something and there is no change in the difficulty, or the person we were praying for passes away? What happens to those seemingly unanswered prayers?
1. God’s love is stronger than our prayers. Some Divine decrees can be rescinded through prayer, others cannot. This is not a sign of the weakness of prayer; it is a sign of the strength of God’s love for us. Certain hardships need to happen for our eternal benefit, for reasons we do not understand. Those difficulties will occur, even if we pray.
As an analogy, if a child needs to undergo a painful medical procedure, no amount of pleading will change the parent’s minds; not because they do not care, precisely because they do care. Although they will insist the child undergo the procedure, they will do whatever they can to support and comfort the child.
So too with God, our Father in Heaven, if something is for our highest good, it will happen, even if it is painful for us and even if we plead with Him. He will though, use our prayers to ensure that we receive the support, strength and comfort we need to get through the challenge.
When you pray to God and ask for His help, know that whatever happens will be God’s will and for your highest good. Know that good will come from your prayer; it may be in a manner you did not expect, at a later date, in another area of your life or benefit a loved one.
2. We will eventually receive what is truly good for us. When we pray for something which does not occur, either the right time has not yet arrived or God has decided that it is not for our highest good. Many of us can think of prayers we said which were eventually answered, at a time and manner God deemed optimal. We might also be able to recall prayers we are glad God did not fulfill, as we see in hindsight how it would not have been beneficial to us.
At times, God decides that it is best if we do not receive a certain blessing and that we endure a particular hardship. Even for those areas – the ones we cry over – when the Messiah comes, God will heal them. The prophet Isaiah tells us that during the Messianic era (Isaiah 25:8), “…The Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces…”
In the meantime, while we continue to pray to God for what is lacking in our lives, we must be patient and accept His will. We must make the most of what we have and realize that right now – without any change in our life circumstance – we can still live a meaningful life.
3. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, it is to change us. The Sages teach that God is always sending us blessing. If we or the world in general are not fit to receive this blessing, we experience it as a difficulty. When we pray, we change ourselves, making ourselves better able to receive the blessing God sends us. (Because of this, as long as the possibility exists for a particular prayer to be answered, we should continue to pray and enhance our ability to receive that blessing.)
There are times when we have to experience hardship (see, “5 Reasons for Suffering”). In those cases, our prayers will not transform the difficulty; instead, they will transform us. Fervent prayer transforms us by strengthening our faith that everything comes from God and that He can do anything. Intense prayer lowers our attachment to materialism and raises our spirituality. It uplifts our souls, bringing us closer to God. Through prayer, we can come so close to God that during challenging times, we feel enveloped in the safety of His embrace.
4. We build a crown for God. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov writes that each of us is a crown for God (Likutey Moharan 6:15). We are His crown in the sense that as His children, when we lead exemplary lives, we bring Him glory. In light of this teaching, when we pray for others, we are adding precious gems to their personal crown for God. If they pass away, after countless prayers have been said on their behalf, they carry with them this shining crown to Heaven. There, they present this crown, bedecked with countless gems, to their Father in Heaven; it is a crown He wears with special pride.
The same goes for ourselves; when we pray for ourselves, we enhance our own crown for God and reveal an even more intense level of His glory to the world.
Address your challenges from three different angles: (1) Pray, (2) Make reasonable efforts to overcome the difficulty and (3) Look for ways to grow and make the most of the situation. This way, whatever happens is win-win: Even if you do not see tangible results from your prayers and material efforts, you still use the challenge as a catalyst for growth. You still draw strength from the knowledge that in the end, you will receive what is truly good for you. With this perspective, you can be accepting of your challenges, even as you work to improve your difficulties.
Bottom line: Do not pray solely to receive a specific outcome; only God knows what is best. Pray because you’re hurting; pray because your Father in Heaven wants to hear from you and soothe your pain; pray because through prayer you can feel His embrace.
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1. God’s love is stronger than our prayers. Some Divine decrees can be rescinded through prayer, others cannot. This is not a sign of the weakness of prayer; it is a sign of the strength of God’s love for us. Certain hardships need to happen for our eternal benefit, for reasons we do not understand. Those difficulties will occur, even if we pray.
As an analogy, if a child needs to undergo a painful medical procedure, no amount of pleading will change the parent’s minds; not because they do not care, precisely because they do care. Although they will insist the child undergo the procedure, they will do whatever they can to support and comfort the child.
So too with God, our Father in Heaven, if something is for our highest good, it will happen, even if it is painful for us and even if we plead with Him. He will though, use our prayers to ensure that we receive the support, strength and comfort we need to get through the challenge.
When you pray to God and ask for His help, know that whatever happens will be God’s will and for your highest good. Know that good will come from your prayer; it may be in a manner you did not expect, at a later date, in another area of your life or benefit a loved one.
2. We will eventually receive what is truly good for us. When we pray for something which does not occur, either the right time has not yet arrived or God has decided that it is not for our highest good. Many of us can think of prayers we said which were eventually answered, at a time and manner God deemed optimal. We might also be able to recall prayers we are glad God did not fulfill, as we see in hindsight how it would not have been beneficial to us.
At times, God decides that it is best if we do not receive a certain blessing and that we endure a particular hardship. Even for those areas – the ones we cry over – when the Messiah comes, God will heal them. The prophet Isaiah tells us that during the Messianic era (Isaiah 25:8), “…The Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces…”
In the meantime, while we continue to pray to God for what is lacking in our lives, we must be patient and accept His will. We must make the most of what we have and realize that right now – without any change in our life circumstance – we can still live a meaningful life.
3. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, it is to change us. The Sages teach that God is always sending us blessing. If we or the world in general are not fit to receive this blessing, we experience it as a difficulty. When we pray, we change ourselves, making ourselves better able to receive the blessing God sends us. (Because of this, as long as the possibility exists for a particular prayer to be answered, we should continue to pray and enhance our ability to receive that blessing.)
There are times when we have to experience hardship (see, “5 Reasons for Suffering”). In those cases, our prayers will not transform the difficulty; instead, they will transform us. Fervent prayer transforms us by strengthening our faith that everything comes from God and that He can do anything. Intense prayer lowers our attachment to materialism and raises our spirituality. It uplifts our souls, bringing us closer to God. Through prayer, we can come so close to God that during challenging times, we feel enveloped in the safety of His embrace.
4. We build a crown for God. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov writes that each of us is a crown for God (Likutey Moharan 6:15). We are His crown in the sense that as His children, when we lead exemplary lives, we bring Him glory. In light of this teaching, when we pray for others, we are adding precious gems to their personal crown for God. If they pass away, after countless prayers have been said on their behalf, they carry with them this shining crown to Heaven. There, they present this crown, bedecked with countless gems, to their Father in Heaven; it is a crown He wears with special pride.
The same goes for ourselves; when we pray for ourselves, we enhance our own crown for God and reveal an even more intense level of His glory to the world.
Address your challenges from three different angles: (1) Pray, (2) Make reasonable efforts to overcome the difficulty and (3) Look for ways to grow and make the most of the situation. This way, whatever happens is win-win: Even if you do not see tangible results from your prayers and material efforts, you still use the challenge as a catalyst for growth. You still draw strength from the knowledge that in the end, you will receive what is truly good for you. With this perspective, you can be accepting of your challenges, even as you work to improve your difficulties.
Bottom line: Do not pray solely to receive a specific outcome; only God knows what is best. Pray because you’re hurting; pray because your Father in Heaven wants to hear from you and soothe your pain; pray because through prayer you can feel His embrace.
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